...that Chick-Fil-A beat Subway!
And if you haven't tried it yet, Chick-Fil-A's breakfast is absolutely delicious. I know what you're thinking, "Fried chicken sandwich on a biscuit for breakfast?" Yes, you'll love it.
*Update: I just noticed that EVERY fast food chain beat Panera. So, yeah. I'm feeling pretty positive about the nutritional choices I've made for myself this week.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Dancing Queen
I’m sitting in my hotel room far far from home and watching the finals of “Dancing with the Stars.” Okay, far far means just down 95 and over the Woodrow Wilson Bridge at the Hilton Alexandria Mark Center. It’s actually quite classy. For Virginia.
Celine Dion is currently singing “My Heart Will Go On.” I’m the trip down memory lane, singing along slightly (not too loud as my co-worker is in the room next door). As professional dancers grace the screen I have the sudden urge to take up ballroom dancing. Also growing is a feeling that I’m probably a pretty phenomenal ballroom dancer. After all, I did train formally in Beltsville as a child. If dance lessons off route 1 in PG County don’t say class and grace, then I’ve been living in denial for most of my life.
Dancing update – Marie Osmond is out. Well, she came in third place. I guess that’s good. Commercial update – soon we’ll all be able to see the classic “Alvin and the Chipmunks” on the big screen. And real life. All I can say is, “It’s about time,” and, “I smell Oscar. Okay, Golden Globe. Seriously? A Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award if they’re lucky.” In all seriousness, I can’t wait to see it. At home. On demand. For free.
Now dancers that lost along time ago are dancing. I’m even more convinced that I could be a ballroom dancer. I’m certainly better than these celebrities. When I’m a celebrity I’ll for sure go on “Dancing with the Stars.” Oh I’ll bring it – and win it. I’m probably better than all the Spice Girls put together. Except for the sporty one, she’d probably kick my ass. Is it weird that I can’t tell the difference between the professional dancer and the “celebrity?” I’m sure I’m not the only one out there thinking the same thing, “who the heck are these people?” So, I could probably go on the show without being a celebrity and then become a celebrity for being a celebrity dancer. Sounds like a plan. Look for me next season!
Celine Dion is currently singing “My Heart Will Go On.” I’m the trip down memory lane, singing along slightly (not too loud as my co-worker is in the room next door). As professional dancers grace the screen I have the sudden urge to take up ballroom dancing. Also growing is a feeling that I’m probably a pretty phenomenal ballroom dancer. After all, I did train formally in Beltsville as a child. If dance lessons off route 1 in PG County don’t say class and grace, then I’ve been living in denial for most of my life.
Dancing update – Marie Osmond is out. Well, she came in third place. I guess that’s good. Commercial update – soon we’ll all be able to see the classic “Alvin and the Chipmunks” on the big screen. And real life. All I can say is, “It’s about time,” and, “I smell Oscar. Okay, Golden Globe. Seriously? A Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award if they’re lucky.” In all seriousness, I can’t wait to see it. At home. On demand. For free.
Now dancers that lost along time ago are dancing. I’m even more convinced that I could be a ballroom dancer. I’m certainly better than these celebrities. When I’m a celebrity I’ll for sure go on “Dancing with the Stars.” Oh I’ll bring it – and win it. I’m probably better than all the Spice Girls put together. Except for the sporty one, she’d probably kick my ass. Is it weird that I can’t tell the difference between the professional dancer and the “celebrity?” I’m sure I’m not the only one out there thinking the same thing, “who the heck are these people?” So, I could probably go on the show without being a celebrity and then become a celebrity for being a celebrity dancer. Sounds like a plan. Look for me next season!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Christmas Shopping
As you're deciding who amongst your family and friends have been nice enough to receive Christmas presents from you, I encourage you to keep internet shopping in mind as a great time saver. You can internet shop at home, the library, work, and even more places if you have an iPhone.* Bonus to shopping via the internet at work? You’re getting paid! Paid to shop? That means those gifts are literally free.
If you are going to internet shop, keep delivery times in mind. You like you friends and family, but do you like them enough to pay rush charges? Probably not. That means that you’ll want to order everything as soon as possible. Like, tomorrow.
Do you know someone that’s absolutely hilarious but you don’t know what to buy them? I found a quaint online shop that has just the thing for you. Okay, it’s my online shop. If this week’s sales are an indication of how the holiday season will be going, everyone will be wearing Julie K Designs in 2008. They’re quite hot right now. For a small fee I will even do a custom design for you. Just holla at me.
*I do not have an iPhone and will gladly accept one or many this Christmas.
If you are going to internet shop, keep delivery times in mind. You like you friends and family, but do you like them enough to pay rush charges? Probably not. That means that you’ll want to order everything as soon as possible. Like, tomorrow.
Do you know someone that’s absolutely hilarious but you don’t know what to buy them? I found a quaint online shop that has just the thing for you. Okay, it’s my online shop. If this week’s sales are an indication of how the holiday season will be going, everyone will be wearing Julie K Designs in 2008. They’re quite hot right now. For a small fee I will even do a custom design for you. Just holla at me.
*I do not have an iPhone and will gladly accept one or many this Christmas.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Hooray!
Cleaning out your closet does pay off! Literally. I recently reorganized my closet and came across my leather coat. It’s stylish very rich looking. I immediately planned a work outfit around wearing my long lost coat. While walking into work this morning I placed my hands in the lined pockets for extra warmth. What do I find? Two crumpled dollar bills and a hand full of change. I haven’t counted the change yet, but the coin collection felt very quarter-heavy. Not only do I look rich in my leather coat, I am richer and can buy an orange juice from Mr. Lee’s downstairs as I actually have cash today!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Fresh vs. Frozen
Based on a delicious and nutritious article, I’ve determined the results of a fresh vs. frozen debate. Papa John’s or Totino’s. Delivery vs. Digorno. Make a phone call or turn on the oven. Oh, how the decisions have plagued me.
Having a frozen pizza on hand is always a good idea - especially if your stumble home does not pass a Pizza Boli or if you habitually return after Domino’s delivery hours. The downside to frozen pizza? You have to make it yourself. To achieve that crispy crust you pop that pizza in without a tray or pizza pan. I’ve witnessed myself (an expert frozen pizza maker and eater) drop a portion of the pizza into the depths of the oven. It’s a sad sight, a waste of pizza and a burning hazard if you don’t realize how hot the oven racks are when the oven is set to 450°.
If you’re thinking, “Wow, Julie K. Frozen pizza sounds dangerous. I’ll just have to cut my night life short to insure ample pizza ordering time.” Then I’m thinking, “You’re wrong. Crazy. And not going to digest ample pizza nutrition.
Aside from having to tell the pizza operator before you hang up that you’re out of cash and need to put your order on a credit card, delivery or “fresh” pizza is also not nearly as nutritious as frozen pizza. Frozen pizza is picked at its picked ripeness and flash frozen. When you heat up your pizza, all those delicious pizza nutrients have been waiting for you in your freezer. Fresh pizza, however, is usually ripped from the oven prior to reaching its maximum ripeness. This is because the pizza actually continues to cook in those red, insulated pizza carriers. The result? Less pizza vitamins for you.
The answer is clear, web community. Frozen pizza (though dangerous and should always be used under close adult supervision) is the healthiest and wisest choice. Unless it’s the Healthy Choice French bread pizza. Those things are terrible.
Delicious Links:
Article upon which my research was solely based
Totino’s
Digorno
Lean Cuisine (the only choice if you’re one of those dieters)
Having a frozen pizza on hand is always a good idea - especially if your stumble home does not pass a Pizza Boli or if you habitually return after Domino’s delivery hours. The downside to frozen pizza? You have to make it yourself. To achieve that crispy crust you pop that pizza in without a tray or pizza pan. I’ve witnessed myself (an expert frozen pizza maker and eater) drop a portion of the pizza into the depths of the oven. It’s a sad sight, a waste of pizza and a burning hazard if you don’t realize how hot the oven racks are when the oven is set to 450°.
If you’re thinking, “Wow, Julie K. Frozen pizza sounds dangerous. I’ll just have to cut my night life short to insure ample pizza ordering time.” Then I’m thinking, “You’re wrong. Crazy. And not going to digest ample pizza nutrition.
Aside from having to tell the pizza operator before you hang up that you’re out of cash and need to put your order on a credit card, delivery or “fresh” pizza is also not nearly as nutritious as frozen pizza. Frozen pizza is picked at its picked ripeness and flash frozen. When you heat up your pizza, all those delicious pizza nutrients have been waiting for you in your freezer. Fresh pizza, however, is usually ripped from the oven prior to reaching its maximum ripeness. This is because the pizza actually continues to cook in those red, insulated pizza carriers. The result? Less pizza vitamins for you.
The answer is clear, web community. Frozen pizza (though dangerous and should always be used under close adult supervision) is the healthiest and wisest choice. Unless it’s the Healthy Choice French bread pizza. Those things are terrible.
Delicious Links:
Article upon which my research was solely based
Totino’s
Digorno
Lean Cuisine (the only choice if you’re one of those dieters)
Monday, November 5, 2007
It's Almost Here!
Happy November! November marks the month of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is rather useless except marking the beging to the greatest season of the entire year. Christmas Music Season. All the great radio stations play 100% Christmas music 100% of the time. I can’t wait.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Question of the Day
Do hairdressers have to make a pledge or take an oath to beautify patrons? Well, they should.
“Hello, ma’am. How can I style your hair today?”
“Well, Paul, I have a big meeting Thursday and my birthday is this weekend. So, I’m torn.”
“I see, it’s tough to style hair to be appropriate for two separate and different occasions. Do you have anything particular in mind?”
“Yes, I ‘d like to keep it relatively short and professional in the front.”
“Okay, okay. I can do that.”
“But, I’d like to be long and fun, you know, like a party, in the back.”
“I think I have just the style for you!”
“Also, my husband is taking me to a NASCAR race next Saturday. Can you give me some pointers on how to style it real nice for that?”
“I sure can!”
And, scene. The story you have just read is fictional. Under my proposed Beautification Oath Act (if one doesn’t exist), Paul, the hair dresser in this scene, would have been stripped of his hair dressers certification and run out of town. Mulletification is something that should never ever happen in a beauty salon, barber shop, grandma’s kitchen with a flobee, or anywhere else. Ever.
“Hello, ma’am. How can I style your hair today?”
“Well, Paul, I have a big meeting Thursday and my birthday is this weekend. So, I’m torn.”
“I see, it’s tough to style hair to be appropriate for two separate and different occasions. Do you have anything particular in mind?”
“Yes, I ‘d like to keep it relatively short and professional in the front.”
“Okay, okay. I can do that.”
“But, I’d like to be long and fun, you know, like a party, in the back.”
“I think I have just the style for you!”
“Also, my husband is taking me to a NASCAR race next Saturday. Can you give me some pointers on how to style it real nice for that?”
“I sure can!”
And, scene. The story you have just read is fictional. Under my proposed Beautification Oath Act (if one doesn’t exist), Paul, the hair dresser in this scene, would have been stripped of his hair dressers certification and run out of town. Mulletification is something that should never ever happen in a beauty salon, barber shop, grandma’s kitchen with a flobee, or anywhere else. Ever.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Eatin’ Good in Your Neighborhood
Six year old Ricky* backed his grandmother’s car 47 feet into a curb and then continued another 29 feet. Little Ricky simply longed for the deliciousness of Applebees. Can you blame him? I can’t. And neither can the police.
Even though dozens of neighbors were without power, no charges will be made against Ricky. The Police recognize the Pick ‘N Pair Lunch Combo’s irresistible draw. And who could even mention Applebees without in the same breath sighing a longing hunger for the Ultimate Trios. Mmmm.
He didn’t do too badly for (what I’m assuming is) his first time driving. When I was ten years older than him, I did plenty more damage to my car. I wasn’t even hungry. I was leaving a Ledo’s.
*How do I know his name? The police didn’t release it. Judged by his love of driving and Applebees, there is no doubt in my mind this child’s name is Ricky Bobby.
Even though dozens of neighbors were without power, no charges will be made against Ricky. The Police recognize the Pick ‘N Pair Lunch Combo’s irresistible draw. And who could even mention Applebees without in the same breath sighing a longing hunger for the Ultimate Trios. Mmmm.
He didn’t do too badly for (what I’m assuming is) his first time driving. When I was ten years older than him, I did plenty more damage to my car. I wasn’t even hungry. I was leaving a Ledo’s.
*How do I know his name? The police didn’t release it. Judged by his love of driving and Applebees, there is no doubt in my mind this child’s name is Ricky Bobby.
Land of the Lost
Comic genius Will Ferrell is set to star in the cinematic masterpiece that will be "Land of the Lost."
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Toilet Humor
Isn’t it embarrassing when you walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper trailing from your shoe? I wouldn’t know as I’m pretty much awesome and cool. But I do laugh at others when it happens to them.
On the way to work, I saw a car (not sure what kind, old and junky with Florida tags) driving with a trail of toilet paper hanging from some car parts. Exactly how do you get your car out of a bathroom without noticing a roll of toilet paper is now tangling from the tailpipe? You have to be pretty oblivious.
On the way to work, I saw a car (not sure what kind, old and junky with Florida tags) driving with a trail of toilet paper hanging from some car parts. Exactly how do you get your car out of a bathroom without noticing a roll of toilet paper is now tangling from the tailpipe? You have to be pretty oblivious.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Best Lunch Ever!!!
Mixed in with my Arby's curly fries today was none other than a piece of a chicken tender. Bonus!!! I'm pretty sure this means that today is the luckiest day of my life thus far.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Getting Older
When I grow up and get really really old, I'm moving to Japan. The Japanese, I believe, typically are known for respecting old people. Even the really really old people. I'm not at all surprised that they're now developing technologies to make their really really old lifestyles not only pain free, but also really fun. Okay, sorry. No more reallys. For reals.
What am I looking forward to the most? Definitely the muscle suit. I just tried finding a link to the developer’s (Tokyo University) website for the suit. It must be still in early developmental stages and not yet ready for the internet. I’m not worried. I’m sure by the time I’m 103 and living in Tokyo, I’ll be able to pick up a muscle suit at the local K-Mart.
What am I looking forward to the most? Definitely the muscle suit. I just tried finding a link to the developer’s (Tokyo University) website for the suit. It must be still in early developmental stages and not yet ready for the internet. I’m not worried. I’m sure by the time I’m 103 and living in Tokyo, I’ll be able to pick up a muscle suit at the local K-Mart.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
I'd Light a Fire, Just to Save You From It
Really? Aside from me getting to use the SNL quote as the title to this blog, there is no benefit to light a fire just to put it out. He's a volunteer, so he couldn't be getting any sort of commission for number of fires he puts out. The only logical explanation is that he really, really hates books.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Milton S. Hershey! If he were still alive, he'd be 150 years old today. This is according to the Hershey rep I heard on the radio this morning. According to wikipedia, he turned 150 yesterday. So, that's just one of life's mysteries we'll never know. But do you know what mystery I did solve? the "S" in Mr. Hershey's name stands for Snavely. Delicious. Just like his chocolate.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Most Popular
Right now, the most popular news stories on Google are (in order) Britney Spears VMA debacle, HSM star Vanessa Hudgens naked pictures, and Senator Larry Craig's sexually scandalous bathroom incident.
Below this critical news is the McCann case regarding a missing four year old, earthquakes in Indonesia, and then maybe some sports and other things.
My point? No, I don't really have one. I just want to point out what really gets you on top in this world. I'm roughly the age of Britney Spears, maybe my career could be better, and I'm certainly not in the best shape to be wearing a sequin bikini on MTV. You don't see me topping every newspaper and celebrity blogger headline. Maybe I need to hire a new publicist or break up with Kevin Federline.
Below this critical news is the McCann case regarding a missing four year old, earthquakes in Indonesia, and then maybe some sports and other things.
My point? No, I don't really have one. I just want to point out what really gets you on top in this world. I'm roughly the age of Britney Spears, maybe my career could be better, and I'm certainly not in the best shape to be wearing a sequin bikini on MTV. You don't see me topping every newspaper and celebrity blogger headline. Maybe I need to hire a new publicist or break up with Kevin Federline.
Friday, September 7, 2007
I Wanna Be Rich!
U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner just won the lottery. Again. Also, he's an heir to the Kimberly-Clark fortune and worth an estimated $11.6 million.
You might be wondering what the chances are of winning the lottery three times. Well, I don't have that statistic. I can tell you that when you spend $10 a week, like Mr. Sensenbrenner does, your chances are greatly increased.
I think it's ridiculous that in America the rich just keep getting richer. I mean, come on. $11.6 million isn't enough for one man? Apparently not. He's so desperate for cash that he sends his losing tickets in for a chance of winning $1,000.
The lottery was invented for poor people who have no money. I'm recommending a cap on lotteries. If you have over $10 million, you can't play anymore. Strike that. You can buy tickets as the revenue supports the local government. However, if you win, you have to find a poor person and give them your winnings.
You might be wondering what the chances are of winning the lottery three times. Well, I don't have that statistic. I can tell you that when you spend $10 a week, like Mr. Sensenbrenner does, your chances are greatly increased.
I think it's ridiculous that in America the rich just keep getting richer. I mean, come on. $11.6 million isn't enough for one man? Apparently not. He's so desperate for cash that he sends his losing tickets in for a chance of winning $1,000.
The lottery was invented for poor people who have no money. I'm recommending a cap on lotteries. If you have over $10 million, you can't play anymore. Strike that. You can buy tickets as the revenue supports the local government. However, if you win, you have to find a poor person and give them your winnings.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Deliciousness in a Donut
I was browsing through msn.com today and found an article on the top ten donuts in the country. You can read it for yourself, but there is only one place listed that you need to know. It’s the Voodoo Donut.
The Voodoo Donut’s creative menu includes toppings from grape powder (which I’m guessing means Kool Aid in powder form and which is, by the way, my favorite flavor of Kool Aid) to Cocoa Krispies. Delicious. The donut de résistance is the one pictured with bacon on it. Yes, bacon. It’s not listed in the online menu, so I’ll just assume that the icing adhering the bacon to the donut is something delicious and not gross like veggie-paste.
I plan on making a tour-de-fat in the near future to include stops at the Voodoo Donut (which is conveniently open 24 hours a day) and Casa Bonita. Probably not until 2010, though. I need time to carefully map out my game plan.
The Voodoo Donut’s creative menu includes toppings from grape powder (which I’m guessing means Kool Aid in powder form and which is, by the way, my favorite flavor of Kool Aid) to Cocoa Krispies. Delicious. The donut de résistance is the one pictured with bacon on it. Yes, bacon. It’s not listed in the online menu, so I’ll just assume that the icing adhering the bacon to the donut is something delicious and not gross like veggie-paste.
I plan on making a tour-de-fat in the near future to include stops at the Voodoo Donut (which is conveniently open 24 hours a day) and Casa Bonita. Probably not until 2010, though. I need time to carefully map out my game plan.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Final Memory of New Orleans
If you've never been* to the French Quarter of New Orleans, it stinks. Literally. There is a certain constant mixture of booze, vomit and dirty feet that fills the air. At times it gags you, but you'd miss it if it was gone.
As I walked onto the plane, I got one good whiff of vomit on the jet way which reminded me of where I was and what I was leaving. Thanks, New Orleans. I had a great, smelly time.
*Seriously, you should go at least once in your life and now is a great time of year.
As I walked onto the plane, I got one good whiff of vomit on the jet way which reminded me of where I was and what I was leaving. Thanks, New Orleans. I had a great, smelly time.
*Seriously, you should go at least once in your life and now is a great time of year.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Warning
One of the first things I noticed in our hotel is the public bathroom. It’s larger than most hotel bathrooms and is oddly easy to get lost in. The bathroom is a labyrinth of mirrors and vanities.
When you leave the bathroom there is a sign warning pregnant women of the mental and physical damages that drinking alcohol will cause their unborn children. Of course I laughed. But then I took back my laughter. I forget that there is a world of knowledge available only to those privileged enough to attend decent public schools and even colleges. The damaging affects of drugs and alcohol unborn children isn’t common knowledge. So, please join me in a moment of gratitude and reflection.
So, that was sweet. But then I just learned that the same sign is on the back of the men’s bathroom door as well. And it’s freakin’ hilarious again!
When you leave the bathroom there is a sign warning pregnant women of the mental and physical damages that drinking alcohol will cause their unborn children. Of course I laughed. But then I took back my laughter. I forget that there is a world of knowledge available only to those privileged enough to attend decent public schools and even colleges. The damaging affects of drugs and alcohol unborn children isn’t common knowledge. So, please join me in a moment of gratitude and reflection.
So, that was sweet. But then I just learned that the same sign is on the back of the men’s bathroom door as well. And it’s freakin’ hilarious again!
Monday, August 27, 2007
A Post from NOLA
Yes, it is a very important time down here in New Orleans. I’m honored to be part of the city’s rebuilding.
That said, here is a word from the wise. Well, the co-worker of the wise. I’m the wise one, my co-worker, not so much.
Along New Orlean’s famed Bourbon Street you will find several daiquiri stops. These have as many as five to 15 different types of frozen drinks. They range in color and flavor, but share one thing in common: high amounts of liquor. Also, they’re in Slurpee machines.
You might be thinking at this point that it’s the amount of booze that did this co-worker in. Well, you’d be wrong. It was in fact choice of drink color. This blue raspberry delight was “quite delicious” the night before. Unfortunately, several teeth brushings later she still had blue teeth, tongue and lips. So, yeah. That’s not a good idea. Especially if you have meetings the next morning.
That said, here is a word from the wise. Well, the co-worker of the wise. I’m the wise one, my co-worker, not so much.
Along New Orlean’s famed Bourbon Street you will find several daiquiri stops. These have as many as five to 15 different types of frozen drinks. They range in color and flavor, but share one thing in common: high amounts of liquor. Also, they’re in Slurpee machines.
You might be thinking at this point that it’s the amount of booze that did this co-worker in. Well, you’d be wrong. It was in fact choice of drink color. This blue raspberry delight was “quite delicious” the night before. Unfortunately, several teeth brushings later she still had blue teeth, tongue and lips. So, yeah. That’s not a good idea. Especially if you have meetings the next morning.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
We’re All in this Together
I know America has been eagerly awaiting my review of the cinematic hit of the summer. Well, brace your self, internet public, you’re about to read the best review of the best movie of not only this summer, but last summer and probably next summer as well.
Of course I’m referring to none other than Disney’s “High School Musical 2.” No, I didn’t watch the premier along with 17.2 million fellow film fanatics. Unfortunately I was busy that night. But I wasn’t busy this past Thursday night when the Disney Channel so graciously replayed it. Amidst leisurely packing I was able to enjoy another classic from the Disney hit-factory.
If you missed it, maybe it’ll be on again sometime. Here’s a quick overview. Think Saved by the Bell. You know, those summer episodes when they all worked for Stacy Carosi’s father at the summer club. But with music. And lots of singing and dancing. Pretty much a guaranteed hit.
The story picks up with our stars counting down the last minutes of school before summer vacation. What’s everyone concerned about? Not getting a tan, but getting paid! They’re in a bit of a panic, but luckily Sharpay is trying to steal Troy away from Gabriella. That of course isn’t initially lucky for anyone. She throws her weight around at the country club her parents own and is able to get Troy a job there for the summer. He throws her a real curve and tells the club manager that he’ll only work there if every other person from his high school can also work there.
You can pretty much guess what happens from there. Troy ends up dissing his friends and Gabriella but eventually finds his way back to her (and them) through a touching duet in the talent show.
I give this movie and rating of awesome. I can’t wait to get home and iTune’s the entire soundtrack. And of course watch it over and over again. Word on the street is that they’ll be third installment coming to the theatres. You know I’ll be there. Camped out overnight. Dressed up as my favorite character.
Of course I’m referring to none other than Disney’s “High School Musical 2.” No, I didn’t watch the premier along with 17.2 million fellow film fanatics. Unfortunately I was busy that night. But I wasn’t busy this past Thursday night when the Disney Channel so graciously replayed it. Amidst leisurely packing I was able to enjoy another classic from the Disney hit-factory.
If you missed it, maybe it’ll be on again sometime. Here’s a quick overview. Think Saved by the Bell. You know, those summer episodes when they all worked for Stacy Carosi’s father at the summer club. But with music. And lots of singing and dancing. Pretty much a guaranteed hit.
The story picks up with our stars counting down the last minutes of school before summer vacation. What’s everyone concerned about? Not getting a tan, but getting paid! They’re in a bit of a panic, but luckily Sharpay is trying to steal Troy away from Gabriella. That of course isn’t initially lucky for anyone. She throws her weight around at the country club her parents own and is able to get Troy a job there for the summer. He throws her a real curve and tells the club manager that he’ll only work there if every other person from his high school can also work there.
You can pretty much guess what happens from there. Troy ends up dissing his friends and Gabriella but eventually finds his way back to her (and them) through a touching duet in the talent show.
I give this movie and rating of awesome. I can’t wait to get home and iTune’s the entire soundtrack. And of course watch it over and over again. Word on the street is that they’ll be third installment coming to the theatres. You know I’ll be there. Camped out overnight. Dressed up as my favorite character.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Driving to Work
I drive on three major roads on my way to work. As soon as I got on the first road, a silver Ford Focus started tailgating me. I’m all about a good tailgate, but not of this nature. Not a big deal, I’m still merging over lanes, so I lose her.
I find my comfort zone one lane from the fast lane. Guess who catches up with me? You got it, FF. Now I’m driving between 75 and 80 mph in a 65 mph zone. Of the four lanes of traffic, this speed demon behind me can certainly pass me. But she doesn’t.
Eventually the red Stratus ahead of me slows down to 65 mph for no reason at all. I do what any rational driver would do. I put my left turn signal on, check my mirrors, check my blind spot, and get over and on my way. I peer back and can see that FF is now following the Stratus within inches of his bumper. I find comfort knowing that she’s not out to get me but is just a horrible driver.
I continue on my way, rock out to a few songs, and get on to the second major road. My ritual is getting into the far left lane and staying there as I have a left exit. I get there, look down to flip through the stations, and clean off my windshield. I glance briefly in the rear-view mirror to see what’s going on behind me. Who do I see? Crazy FF! PS – I’m going using FF because when I type “F” it makes me think that maybe I’m going to write a curse word. I’m not. But the thought that I could, relieves a little bit of anger.
Now I’m thinking that maybe FF is following me. I merge onto the third and final major road. I get over to the right (it’s a left merge) as fast as I can, leaving FF inches behind a green Honda Odyssey.
No, FF didn’t get off at my exit. How can you protect yourself from the FF? Well, just be on the lookout for a woman driving a silver Ford Focus. She’s going to be chain smoking non-stop unless she’s eating the Big Mac version of a breakfast sandwich. So, lookout for that.
I find my comfort zone one lane from the fast lane. Guess who catches up with me? You got it, FF. Now I’m driving between 75 and 80 mph in a 65 mph zone. Of the four lanes of traffic, this speed demon behind me can certainly pass me. But she doesn’t.
Eventually the red Stratus ahead of me slows down to 65 mph for no reason at all. I do what any rational driver would do. I put my left turn signal on, check my mirrors, check my blind spot, and get over and on my way. I peer back and can see that FF is now following the Stratus within inches of his bumper. I find comfort knowing that she’s not out to get me but is just a horrible driver.
I continue on my way, rock out to a few songs, and get on to the second major road. My ritual is getting into the far left lane and staying there as I have a left exit. I get there, look down to flip through the stations, and clean off my windshield. I glance briefly in the rear-view mirror to see what’s going on behind me. Who do I see? Crazy FF! PS – I’m going using FF because when I type “F” it makes me think that maybe I’m going to write a curse word. I’m not. But the thought that I could, relieves a little bit of anger.
Now I’m thinking that maybe FF is following me. I merge onto the third and final major road. I get over to the right (it’s a left merge) as fast as I can, leaving FF inches behind a green Honda Odyssey.
No, FF didn’t get off at my exit. How can you protect yourself from the FF? Well, just be on the lookout for a woman driving a silver Ford Focus. She’s going to be chain smoking non-stop unless she’s eating the Big Mac version of a breakfast sandwich. So, lookout for that.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I know what you're thinking...
...but no, this was not me.
Yes, I am an amateur scientist and a professional genious, but I tend to stay out of the way of NASA. Had I been paying attention, I’m sure I would have noticed and mocked their errors.
I am flattered that so many of you have asked, but please keep in mind that at this time in my life I’m focused on humor.
Side note: In your face, Al Gore!
Yes, I am an amateur scientist and a professional genious, but I tend to stay out of the way of NASA. Had I been paying attention, I’m sure I would have noticed and mocked their errors.
I am flattered that so many of you have asked, but please keep in mind that at this time in my life I’m focused on humor.
Side note: In your face, Al Gore!
Friday, August 17, 2007
New Diet!
I’ve just read the most interesting diet plan online. According to Dr. Liz Applegate of Runner’s World, all you have to do is mix delicious unhealthy food with healthy food. Her examples include a bowl of half fun and delicious cereal and half boring and disgusting healthy cereal and cutting regular ground meat with fake ground hippie meat. Now I will never approve of distilling meat, but she might be on to something.
My suggestions:
- Half Champagne, Half Orange Juice (can be found for $1 here)
- Half Pizza, Half Pineapple
- Half Chocolate, Half Strawberry hiding underneath that chocolate
- Half Cheese, Half Spinach (eat with delicious triscuits, which healthy, double diet points!!!)
- Half Cookie, Half Brownie (the brownie is made with applesauce, so it’s fat free)
I’m excited to begin this new regiment. I can’t wait to stop dropping the LBs.
My suggestions:
- Half Champagne, Half Orange Juice (can be found for $1 here)
- Half Pizza, Half Pineapple
- Half Chocolate, Half Strawberry hiding underneath that chocolate
- Half Cheese, Half Spinach (eat with delicious triscuits, which healthy, double diet points!!!)
- Half Cookie, Half Brownie (the brownie is made with applesauce, so it’s fat free)
I’m excited to begin this new regiment. I can’t wait to stop dropping the LBs.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Product of the Night
Tonight I gave in to the ever growing mysterious (possibly soap scum caused) stains of my bathtub. Tonight, however, was no ordinary cleaning. Having run out of the usual soft scrub with bleach as well as a few other house hold necessities, I turned to the local grocery store.
The trip to the grocery store (the particular store will not be named as my wishes are to neither favor nor oppose the unmentioned establishment) was adventuresome alone. I don’t have the energy to recount the fives upon tens of children under the age of three that were screaming the entire time I was there or the fact that there were only 2 cashiers open during one of the busiest grocery shopping times of the day. Let’s just say I got some food (though nutritional value is questionable) and a new cleaning product. I’m not sure why, but the Lysol section caught my eye.
I picked up Lysol’s “Disinfectant Bathroom Spray” in aerosol form. Yes, aerosol. I hear that’s good for the environment – with today’s technology and all. Also, I’m tired of wasting my limited grip strength on pumping and pumping. According to the directions, all I have to do with this new product is spray then wipe. No scrubbing. Phenom-enal. If there’s a stubborn stain, I just wait a little longer!
I raced home from the store, parked right on my corner (score!), dashed up the stairs, changed, made and ate dinner, ran some laundry, pretended like I was working, then finally got off my butt to start cleaning. Let me tell you, internet public, the directions were right. The lack of effort on my part encouraged me to clean not only the entire shower (well, aside from behind where my shampoo is, I’m not moving things here) but also clean my sink and vanity!
I highly recommend this product to everyone. Maybe not children. They should have to learn to scrub like the rest of us. Once they’ve adequately paid their dues, we can share this modern marvel.
The trip to the grocery store (the particular store will not be named as my wishes are to neither favor nor oppose the unmentioned establishment) was adventuresome alone. I don’t have the energy to recount the fives upon tens of children under the age of three that were screaming the entire time I was there or the fact that there were only 2 cashiers open during one of the busiest grocery shopping times of the day. Let’s just say I got some food (though nutritional value is questionable) and a new cleaning product. I’m not sure why, but the Lysol section caught my eye.
I picked up Lysol’s “Disinfectant Bathroom Spray” in aerosol form. Yes, aerosol. I hear that’s good for the environment – with today’s technology and all. Also, I’m tired of wasting my limited grip strength on pumping and pumping. According to the directions, all I have to do with this new product is spray then wipe. No scrubbing. Phenom-enal. If there’s a stubborn stain, I just wait a little longer!
I raced home from the store, parked right on my corner (score!), dashed up the stairs, changed, made and ate dinner, ran some laundry, pretended like I was working, then finally got off my butt to start cleaning. Let me tell you, internet public, the directions were right. The lack of effort on my part encouraged me to clean not only the entire shower (well, aside from behind where my shampoo is, I’m not moving things here) but also clean my sink and vanity!
I highly recommend this product to everyone. Maybe not children. They should have to learn to scrub like the rest of us. Once they’ve adequately paid their dues, we can share this modern marvel.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Captain's Blog, Day 1
So, here’s the first blog. Congratulations on finding me on the information super highway. You might be wondering what catapulted me into the world of web logging. Well, it all started not too long ago with a little person known as “me.”
Lately I’ve been struggling inside. I feel myself cracking up at everything that I say, do and think. Yet, strangely enough, the people closest to me do not seem to be suffering from uncontrollable fits of laughter. Worried that maybe I’m out of tune with today’s comedy I took a good look at myself. The answer was clear. I’m just not voicing my point of view loud enough or to nearly enough people.
I asked myself, “Self, what’s the easiest way to reach a vast amount of people in a little bit of time.”
Myself, obviously caught of guard, stumbled around “umms and hmm” before blurting out the first logical answer that came to mind, “The Pony Express.”
“Self, that’s a horrible idea. That doesn’t even exist any more. I’ll just use the internet. Gosh, you’re helpless.”
So, here I am. I had a lot of plans for the inaugural blog, but I didn’t realize how long it would take to set up this thing. I had to even create a new email address. Well, it’s not that I had to do that, but I’d like to keep my personal email address off the web. Also, my new blogger email address will be used exclusively for fan mail. This frees up my other 6 accounts for business as usual (which is divided up as follows: band mailing lists, online shopping receipts, online banking accounts, online banking accounts backup accounts, local news letters, and general correspondence).
After all of this, the only thing I have time to comment on is Yone Minagawa. At the age of 114, she passed away today. Congratulations to Edna Parker, who is now the oldest person alive in the entire world. I’m sure Edna is having a rocking time tonight! And thank you, Edna for bringing the pride back to America and giving millions of us young American girls something to strive for - Thank you! Interested in reading more about Yone and Edna? Check this out this and this.
Lately I’ve been struggling inside. I feel myself cracking up at everything that I say, do and think. Yet, strangely enough, the people closest to me do not seem to be suffering from uncontrollable fits of laughter. Worried that maybe I’m out of tune with today’s comedy I took a good look at myself. The answer was clear. I’m just not voicing my point of view loud enough or to nearly enough people.
I asked myself, “Self, what’s the easiest way to reach a vast amount of people in a little bit of time.”
Myself, obviously caught of guard, stumbled around “umms and hmm” before blurting out the first logical answer that came to mind, “The Pony Express.”
“Self, that’s a horrible idea. That doesn’t even exist any more. I’ll just use the internet. Gosh, you’re helpless.”
So, here I am. I had a lot of plans for the inaugural blog, but I didn’t realize how long it would take to set up this thing. I had to even create a new email address. Well, it’s not that I had to do that, but I’d like to keep my personal email address off the web. Also, my new blogger email address will be used exclusively for fan mail. This frees up my other 6 accounts for business as usual (which is divided up as follows: band mailing lists, online shopping receipts, online banking accounts, online banking accounts backup accounts, local news letters, and general correspondence).
After all of this, the only thing I have time to comment on is Yone Minagawa. At the age of 114, she passed away today. Congratulations to Edna Parker, who is now the oldest person alive in the entire world. I’m sure Edna is having a rocking time tonight! And thank you, Edna for bringing the pride back to America and giving millions of us young American girls something to strive for - Thank you! Interested in reading more about Yone and Edna? Check this out this and this.
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