Eatin’ Good in Your Neighborhood

Six year old Ricky* backed his grandmother’s car 47 feet into a curb and then continued another 29 feet. Little Ricky simply longed for the deliciousness of Applebees. Can you blame him? I can’t. And neither can the police.

Even though dozens of neighbors were without power, no charges will be made against Ricky. The Police recognize the Pick ‘N Pair Lunch Combo’s irresistible draw. And who could even mention Applebees without in the same breath sighing a longing hunger for the Ultimate Trios. Mmmm.

He didn’t do too badly for (what I’m assuming is) his first time driving. When I was ten years older than him, I did plenty more damage to my car. I wasn’t even hungry. I was leaving a Ledo’s.




*How do I know his name? The police didn’t release it. Judged by his love of driving and Applebees, there is no doubt in my mind this child’s name is Ricky Bobby.

Land of the Lost

Comic genius Will Ferrell is set to star in the cinematic masterpiece that will be "Land of the Lost."

Toilet Humor

Isn’t it embarrassing when you walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper trailing from your shoe? I wouldn’t know as I’m pretty much awesome and cool. But I do laugh at others when it happens to them.

On the way to work, I saw a car (not sure what kind, old and junky with Florida tags) driving with a trail of toilet paper hanging from some car parts. Exactly how do you get your car out of a bathroom without noticing a roll of toilet paper is now tangling from the tailpipe? You have to be pretty oblivious.

Best Lunch Ever!!!

Mixed in with my Arby's curly fries today was none other than a piece of a chicken tender. Bonus!!! I'm pretty sure this means that today is the luckiest day of my life thus far.