Driving to Work

I drive on three major roads on my way to work. As soon as I got on the first road, a silver Ford Focus started tailgating me. I’m all about a good tailgate, but not of this nature. Not a big deal, I’m still merging over lanes, so I lose her.

I find my comfort zone one lane from the fast lane. Guess who catches up with me? You got it, FF. Now I’m driving between 75 and 80 mph in a 65 mph zone. Of the four lanes of traffic, this speed demon behind me can certainly pass me. But she doesn’t.

Eventually the red Stratus ahead of me slows down to 65 mph for no reason at all. I do what any rational driver would do. I put my left turn signal on, check my mirrors, check my blind spot, and get over and on my way. I peer back and can see that FF is now following the Stratus within inches of his bumper. I find comfort knowing that she’s not out to get me but is just a horrible driver.

I continue on my way, rock out to a few songs, and get on to the second major road. My ritual is getting into the far left lane and staying there as I have a left exit. I get there, look down to flip through the stations, and clean off my windshield. I glance briefly in the rear-view mirror to see what’s going on behind me. Who do I see? Crazy FF! PS – I’m going using FF because when I type “F” it makes me think that maybe I’m going to write a curse word. I’m not. But the thought that I could, relieves a little bit of anger.

Now I’m thinking that maybe FF is following me. I merge onto the third and final major road. I get over to the right (it’s a left merge) as fast as I can, leaving FF inches behind a green Honda Odyssey.

No, FF didn’t get off at my exit. How can you protect yourself from the FF? Well, just be on the lookout for a woman driving a silver Ford Focus. She’s going to be chain smoking non-stop unless she’s eating the Big Mac version of a breakfast sandwich. So, lookout for that.